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Number of posts : 451
Age : 57
Location : is everything
Registration date : 2008-04-23

PostSubject: Grandparents/Grandkids   Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:07 pm


1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup,
under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as
she'd done many times before. After she applied her
lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again
without thinking about kissing the toilet
paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My
grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed withstern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside
on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from
a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said,
"I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
something and ask what color it was. She would tell me
and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I
think you should try to figure out some of these,

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us
in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
"It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are
coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson
asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa,"
he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's
interesting," she said, "how do you make
babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl.
"You just change 'y' to 'i' and
add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a
public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The
teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure," said the young boy
confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren
to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian
dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one
child. "No," said another. "He's just for
good luck." ;A third child brought the argument to a
close."They use the dogs," she said
firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and
when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're
done having her visit, we take her back to the

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches
me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get
as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you
hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...'Oh shit....she's awake!!"
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Number of posts : 485
Age : 35
Location : New York
Registration date : 2008-04-08

PostSubject: Re: Grandparents/Grandkids   Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:31 am

LOL! Kids are hysterical!

My best friend is non-verbal, incontinent, and rough on cats:
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Number of posts : 316
Age : 57
Location : South Carolina
Registration date : 2008-04-08

PostSubject: Re: Grandparents/Grandkids   Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:11 pm

Ohh the things you have to look forward to!!

Good one LF!

May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.

~Irish Prayer
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