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 A New Diet Plan

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Number of posts : 451
Age : 57
Location : is everything
Registration date : 2008-04-23

PostSubject: A New Diet Plan   Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:07 am

I'm sure you've seen this but just in case:

Yesterday I was at PetsMart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
her, "No, I don't have a dog. I am starting the Purina Diet

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets. Then you simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no, that I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

PetsMart won't let me shop there anymore.

"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...'Oh shit....she's awake!!"
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