Sagewood Country

Welcome to Sagewood Country! Crafts, Gardens, Challenges and much more. Come visit and say HI!
 
HomeFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 A New Diet Plan

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Lightfoot
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 451
Age : 57
Location : is everything
Registration date : 2008-04-23

PostSubject: A New Diet Plan   Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:07 am

I'm sure you've seen this but just in case:

Yesterday I was at PetsMart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
her, "No, I don't have a dog. I am starting the Purina Diet
again."

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets. Then you simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no, that I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

PetsMart won't let me shop there anymore.

_________________
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...'Oh shit....she's awake!!"
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
A New Diet Plan
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» G-bites a similar plan
» My BN diet
» Questions about 5-bite diet
» THE DIET THAT DOES WORK
» President Herman Cainís 999 Plan In Action

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Sagewood Country :: The Courtyard :: Shits & Giggles-
Jump to: